Bitchin’ about Coal Vines


A few years ago when Coal Vines first opened, my husband and I ventured over there to try the pizza. We walked into the overcrowded, tiny place (there was no patio area back then) and were suddenly shoved out of the way…by the manager. He was trying to get to some friends, or more important folks than us, I imagine. That’s when Coal Vines became “dead to” my husband. It took me a few years longer, I guess.

So this past Thursday, for lunch, a couple coworkers and I headed to Coal Vines for a quick business lunch. We arrived at 12:10 and sat on the patio, which was over-heated for a 70-something-degree day. The overhead heaters were on, making the iced teas we ordered quite necessary. They, along with the crispy, well-seasoned zucchini chips were the best parts of the meal. My coworkers ordered a sandwich and a pasta, plus the seafood risotto cake as an app. The risotto cake was the only thing that arrived to our table before we had to leave at 5 til 1:00 in order to make our 1pm meetings. One of us had to stay behind to get the wrapped up entrees and bring them to us. I ate at about 2:00. So naturally, I was already a bit bitchy. In leiu of ordering the expected pizza from Coal Vines, which I’ve had and very much liked, I decided to order a combo of apps (not uncommon for me to do). I chose the Romaine Hearts salad with black pepper and lemon vinaigrette, and the Smoked Salmon Tartar. While I first glimpsed them at my desk back at the office, I should have known I’d be disappointed by the salmon, because I missed the “smoked” in the title and was startled by its lox-y flavor. My biggest bitch about this meal, however, was the goat cheese. Chiefly because it was cream cheese. Like, from the Philly block cream cheese. Don’t serve a Jewish foodie cream cheese and call it goat cheese. Sorry, you just don’t. So Coal Vines is pretty much dead to me now. Too bad though, because the location is great and their pizza tastes pretty damn good.


Wonder if the “goat cheese” on their bruschetta is also flown in from Philadelphia…

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