Yom Kippur is coming. 25-ish hours of consuming absolutely nothing while repenting for a year’s worth of sins.
As I try to pass the time until precisely 7:44 p.m. on Saturday night (the end of the Yom Kippur fast), I’ll have plenty of time to think about all the food sins I’ve personally committed over the past year. (“For the sin of eating pork, knowingly or unknowingly,” for example.) On Saturday, I’ll do the real confessing, but right now, let’s talk about the sins I wish certain other food blogger types would confess to doing. And then never ever do again. Yes, judging other people is wrong, but I’m about to apologize for it anyway, so here goes.
The Top 12 Worst “Foodie” Sins, according to foodbitch
12. The sin of using the word “foodie.” Other sin words include: “divine,” “sneak peak,” “toothsome,” and “forgettable.”
11. The sin of over-indulgence. Hahahaha yeah right.
10. The sin of wasting food.
9. The sin of using #too #damn #many #hashtags #stopit.
8. The sin of insufficient lighting or, G-d forbid, using a hot, hot flash while taking food photos. See: #foodbotch
7. The sin of making fun of publicists’ typos. Okay, I am guilty of this, too.
6. The sin of being gluten-, nut-, dairy-, meat-, or whatever-free for absolutely no fucking reason.
5. The sin of asking for doggie bags at media dinners. For your dogs.
4. The sin of bragging, humble- or otherwise, via Instagram. Sorry.
3. The sin of not tipping service staff at comped dinners and events. You suck.
2. The sin of not being grateful for both the power and privilege of being part of the charmed food media elite in Dallas.
1. The sin of omission, AKA not disclosing comped meals or client connections. The worst sin of all, you guys.
And just like that I have even more to apologize for on Saturday. Sigh…
Foodbitch is an expert eater and published food writer who lives in Dallas, Texas with her exceptionally well-fed twin daughters, husband and their dogs. She’ll tell you what to eat and you’ll like it.