Don’t you dare phone in your pie this Thanksgiving. Don’t make a shitty monstrosity full of something called “filling” that comes from a can, or worse, go to some crappy supermarket to purchase one. If you’re reading this blog you probably know better, but just in case, DON’T.

Pie is a thing that is good. It can be good or really good or really fucking good. It’s rarely ever bad unless it’s a chart that contains bad news. Fact.

BUT.

There is a lesson to be learned here about that one time that pie was bad. The worst pie in the world comes from Dickey’s. I once bit into a slice of pumpkin pie that Dickey’s catered and ice cold water rushed into my mouth. I nearly drowned — nearly DIED — from bad pie.

What’s the complete and total polar opposite of bad pie? Emporium Pies in Bishop Arts. This sweet, pretty little pop-up-turned-full-blown-pie-shop is great any day, but they’re particularly great when they save your life, or maybe more likely save the day, with pie.

How to save the day with pie? They make their seasonal Thanksgiving pies available to all the week before Thanksgiving. Day saved!

There are two special pies at Emporium for your Thanksgiving pleasure:

1) The Drop Dead Gourdgeous (pictured above), which is a pumpkin pie. I haven’t had this yet myself but it has a gingerbread crust, which certainly like something that needs to be in my mouth.

2) The Drunken Nut (at right) is available on their regular menu, but I assure you it’s unlike any pecan situation you’ve ever seen. First of all, it’s like the size of a small building. Secondly, it falls apart when sliced into a mountain of goodness laced with booze. You cannot go wrong with this pie, unless one of your guests is allergic to the nuts. In which case, you should probably just uninvite them to Thanksgiving anyway, right?

Order on emporiumpies.com or by calling them at 469-206-6162. Pickup Monday the 19th through Wednesday the 21st in their shop in Bishop Arts.