The Fair’s been…weird this year. I wasn’t too keen on hitting it up, since the past year or so of foodbitching on overdrive has packed on quite a few pounds, and I honestly don’t have a clue what I would do if I didn’t eat the fried shit out of the Fair. I almost didn’t go, in fact, especially considering the tragedy that occurred the day before my planned trip. But I hate to miss out on a good food porn opportunity, so off I went on somewhat of a mini trip, only 3 or so hours at Fair Park. See below for a tour of my trip, including stuff I ate and stuff I skipped.


 The Fair may be Big Tex-less, but there’s plenty of fried food left for us to drown our sorrows in.


Mmmm, a Lite Brite big as Texas.


The moment (during last year’s foodie Fair extravaganza) I discovered that Fletcher’s offered a turkey dog, I was ecstatic. I love corndogs, they’re a Fair classic, and I don’t want to feel left out when all the bacon eaters are downing dogs. So happy I can feel like one of the cool kids. Oh, and this thing is GOOD. Two thumbs way up.


The fried jambalaya was a big hit with the eaters and judges this year. I don’t dig on swine or shrimps, so I didn’t partake. But my buddy The Gator did. Read all about it.


The fried PBJ & B is pretty much my non-classic Fair favorite. I love the way this high school alternative lunch classic melts into doughy goodness when deep fried. Two thumbs.


I did not sample this item: fried mac n cheese slider. From what I’ve heard the burger component tastes like a hockey puck (looks like one too) and it is overall not good at all. Plus, the fries look too similar to Chick-fil-A’s and I’m still boycotting. Thumbs down.


This tornado twister is a Fair classic. And it’s a winner; just don’t forget the salt and ketchup, plenty of napkins and friends to share it with. Thumbs up.


Last bites before the chef demonstration portion of the day was a wild card call: fried moonpie was the winner. I was a fan, but as with most fried Fair food, I’d rather just have the insides, unfried. It was good though, two thumbs up.


And then we visited the Creative Arts building (the one with the butter sculpture?), where we found this giant Maytag repairman and famous Top Chef contestant Chef John Tesar. Tesar was making catfish sloppy joes. A simple recipe that anyone can make. I tend to prefer my sloppy joe with beef, but I was willing to keep an open mind.


Full disclosure, I did not try this, as catfish ain’t a fish my people eat. But I did taste a green pepper and it was sloppy joe-riffic.


This is a memorial that lays at the foot of where the Big Guy used to tower. Yes, that’s a corn dog bouquet. It cost roughly 110 tickets or $60. Dedication.


Until next year, Fair. Keep it real. Keep it fried. Keep it Texas at its best.

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