NEW AND IMPROVED TO INCLUDE ALL THE FOODS I ATE IN THE YEAR 2017 A.D.:

THE FOODBITCH 100,

AKA I’LL TELL YOU WHAT TO EAT AND YOU’LL LIKE IT: THE ULTIMATE DALLAS LIST.

What are The foodbitch 100? Well I’m glad you asked, m’lady. Or sir.

They’re my favorite things to eat in Dallas, narrowed down, of course, to only a hundred. This venture was very much inspired by my girl Oh Hey Dallas’ list of her Top 100 Things to Consume in Dallas. I’ve felt compelled for quite some time now to give everyone my top 100, too. Some of these second her list; that only means they’re doubly recommended.

There are so very many delicious things to eat in Dallas. But if I had just 100 days to live, here’s what I’d eat, assuming of course that I could only eat one thing per day. Perhaps I have a rare disease that only allows me one meal per day until I die in exactly a hundred days. Or maybe the backstory doesn’t matter. Consider this a checklist of awesome Dallas eats. And consider it a challenge, folks.

Bonus: I’ve ‘grammed a hell of a lot of food in this town. Scary lots. So there are links below to some of my instagram photos of these bites. Enjoy the food porn with my compliments.

Another bonus: I’ve included some links to my friends at OpenTable.com, so you can make a reservation right from this here page. The OpenTable iPhone app in particular is really, really great for making reservations. I’m a bit addicted to it, actually. I’ve also included some Zomato links for you if the spot isn’t a reservation-type place.

Without further ado, organized by part of town but otherwise in no particular order, here is The foodbitch 100: best Dallas bites:

DOWNTOWN/ARTS DISTRICT

1. The deviled egg flight at Overeasy at The Statler
2. Salted caramel butterscotch pudding at Stampede 66
3. The white seaweed salad at Tei An
4. A bagel with everything cream cheese at The Commissary
5. Churros con cajeta at La Ventana
6. Mushroom toast at City Hall Bistro
7. Toro sashimi at Five Sixty
8. The roasted salmon at Savor
9. The panqueque at Corrientes348
10. A latte at Weekend Coffee
12. A black magic cone from What’s Da Scoop?
13. The Baby Bella from Easy Slider

KNOX-HENDERSON

14. A scoop of peppermint custard at Wild About Harry’s
15. Jalapeño ranch from Chuy’s
16. Carpaccio of the Day at Tei Tei Robata Bar
17. The Cookie Monster at Trailercakes
18. Beef pepperoni pizza at Zalat
19. Some foie gras at Abacus
20. The pappardelle bolognese at Pie Tap Kitchen + Bar
21. The eclair cake at LEKKA Henderson
22. Beef tartare at Gemma
23. The Ahi Poke at Velvet Taco
24. The goat cheese tarte at Toulouse Cafe & Bar

EAST DALLAS/LAKEWOOD

25. The Amy chicken biscuit at Hypnotic Donuts
26. The Here burger at Lounge Here
27.  The Cheese Burger at Goodfriend
28. The chicken dumplings at Hello Dumpling
29. The Adam Bomb at White Rock Coffee
30. Beer biscuits from Barbecs
31. Chicken pho at Mot Hai Ba
32. The Lester at Taco Joint
33. Cinnamon swirl bundtlet at Nothing Bundt Cakes
34. The chicken fried ribeye at Lounge Here
35. A donut ice cream sandwich at Hypnotic Emporium
36. The prom cake at The Heights
37. The Atlantic salmon sandwich at Benny’s Bagels

HIGHLAND PARK/NORTHPARK/UNIVERSITY PARK

38. The hot pretzel with Texas fondue at Bowl & Barrel
39. The Big Dog shake at Pokey O’s
40. Bigeye Tuna & Foie Gras Torchon at Knife
41. Pad Thai at PakPao
42. The seared tuna wrap at DIVE
43. A Bavarian cream donut from Top Pot
44. The primetime at Hopdoddy
45. A giant chocolate chip cookie from Susiecakes bakery
46. Beef tartare at Montlake Cut
47. The oreo milkshake at Hopdoddy
48. The cole slaw at Hillstone
49. The salted caramel ice cream at Sprinkles Ice Cream

UPTOWN/OAKLAWN/DESIGN DISTRICT

50. Spicy chicken karaage at Top Knot
51. The tortilla soup at Fearing’s
52. The chili cheese fries at Shake Shack
53. Ahi tuna tacos at Del Frisco’s Grille
54. The iron pot green curry chicken at Malai Kitchen
55. The Bonito Aioli tuna poké at Malibu Poké
56. House-made burrata from Carbone’s
57. The deconstructed California roll at Parigi
58. The Machi Cure at Uchi
59. The cojito at Urban Taco
60. Angolotti at Sassetta
61. Lemon Avenue cheesecake at Val’s Cheesecakes
62. Peanut butter pie at The Rustic
63. The Fried Chicken + Jack Sandwich at East Hampton Sandwich Co.
64. The Madagacar bourbon vanilla pop from Pop Star Popsicles

OAKCLIFF/BISHOP ARTS/TRINITY GROVES

65. Enmoleadas at Mesa Veracruz Coastal Cuisine
66. The horchata cocktail at Mesa Veracruz Coastal Cuisine
67. Deviled eggs at Lockhart Smokehouse
68. The dark chocolate tart at Boulevardier
69. The Smooth Operator (or any slice really) at Emporium Pies
70. Spicy pressed sushi at Sushi Bayashi
71. Toffee croissant bread pudding at Stock and Barrel
72. Risotto at Lucia
73. The cabrito at SMOKE
74. The Stock Cheese at Off-Site Kitchen
75. Patatas Bravas at Casa Rubia
76. A champagne truffle from Kate Weiser Chocolate
77. The short rib drunken noodles at Chino Chinatown

GREENVILLE AVENUE

78. The ribeye carpaccio at Rapscallion
79. The cheeseburger at The Grape
80. A slice of chocolate croissant loaf from Boulangerie by Village Baking Co.
81. The dry garlic noodles  at Wabi House
82. The pastrami sandwich at Feed Company Eatery
83. A coconut pop from Steel City Pops
84. Tom Kha Gai hot pot at Bangkok City
85. White coffee gelato at Botolino
86. The Big “D” Benedict at Halcyon

DEEP ELLUM/FARMER’S MARKET

87. The Regina margherita at Cane Rosso
88. Fried chicken at Brick & Bones
89. Beef belly at Niwa Japanese BBQ
90. The burnt ends at Pecan Lodge
91. Spicy peanut noodles from Monkey King Noodle Co.
92. El Corazon donut from Glazed Donut Works
93. Lamb mac ‘n cheese from Zåtar

RICHARDSON, NORTH DALLAS & NORTH OF 635

94.The challah french toast sandwich at Coffee House Cafe
95. Cinnamon Toast Crunch soft serve at Sweet Daze
96. The Vines Burger at Sixty Vines
97. The creme brûlée donut at Jaram’s
98. The traditional NY Pie at Zoli’s
99. The Super B.A.D. at Super Chix
100. The #1 at Cindy’s Deli

Did I miss something? Of course I did. Let me know what you think should have made this list in the comments below, or on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram. If I haven’t tried it, I probably will.

xo,